Deserving of

Pain. Hate. Miserable days. Miserable nights. Reminders of what I’ve done and the fear in your face that I might do it again. All these tears. The bruise on my thigh from punching myself because I deserve physical pain too. 

I am nothing more than a soul darkening, life ruining, ambition sucking black hole. I hate myself and so should you.

I deserve it.

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4 thoughts on “Deserving of”

  1. I can understand how this feels. I’ve started really reading your story today. The decisions you have had to make are hard and not knowing exactly what the future will hold can be daunting, but I think you are on the right track. I will continue to read your story.

    Liked by 1 person

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