Be Strong.

You’re almost free, girlfriend. 

My youngest daughter cries every night at bedtime because she isn’t sure if I’ll be there to put her to bed the next night. No child should ever have to worry about that. I am pleased to tell her she won’t have to ever fear her Mommy not being with her again. 

That being said, I am here yet not here as we wait out the next couple of weeks until we move. I don’t even bother trying to wake up early; Being asleep means not having to be interactive with him. Though every morning he wakes up and spends his time laying next to me trying to wake me up, then apologizing when I move to shake him off. If there’s anything I’ve learned he’s good at, it’s spitting out false apologies. You know, the kind of apology that lacks sincerity. The ones that are said because it’s visible that you’re upset by their actions but they’ll be back at it within five minutes. 

When I wake up, I stay in bed and put all my focus into video games.  I don’t want to move. I don’t want to think. I sure as fuck don’t want to talk to him. It’s unhealthy I know, but until I don’t feel trapped I don’t know what else to do. 

I can’t wait to leave. Two weeks exactly from today is when school starts back up. I need to start packing.


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