Embarrassed and Ashamed

It’s Christmas Eve. This year, I feel less in the holiday spirit than the year I found out my mother passed away. Since I still don’t have a job or any source of income at all, I was told he would be saving his tips so we can go get the girls some Christmas presents. We were supposed to go last week, then 3 nights ago, then last night. Something always came up and he ended up “not having a lot of money to spend”. Now, my girls are spoiled rotten. They receive gifts from 3 different families AND the church my grandmother attends every year. Even with all those gifts, a child should feel special and remember the gift their parents got them. He has procrastinated until, almost very literally, the last minute. Plus he works today until later this evening, which won’t give us many options on where we can get their presents. 

I can’t wait to have a job. I can’t wait to be able to save and budget my money.

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