Dinner Tonight

Reheated, two day old chicken thrown in a bowl with lettuce. I can’t even call it a salad as we didn’t have any dressing but, as I forgot to eat today, I had to make do. 

His dad called him while he was out at the bar and gave him grief, asking if he even cared that the girls had come home. He came home in a terrible mood and it got worse as he insulted one of our friends to the point she told him she was done with their friendship. He’s just so out of line. 

I’m hiding in the bathroom “peeing” after he threw himself on top of me, again. His heavy body suffocated and possibly bruised me, again. He smelled of brew and was soaked in sweat from humping so much. I thought, when he finally finished, I might actually throw up this time. How does he not know I don’t want to do this anymore? How can he not tell I’m faking my moans? Oh right, the alcohol.

Christmas is over, can I leave now? 


3 thoughts on “Dinner Tonight”

    1. I have told him multiple times that I’m focused on moving foward and while I get why my still being here is confusing, I don’t think it’s that hard of a concept to grasp. I offered to sleep on the couch and he insisted I stay in the bed. I mean, it’s my bed anyway. I brought it from my apartment when I moved in. Someone told me not to use the term “rape” so loosely since him and I were dating. But, I know I don’t owe him sex. His birthday is on the 29th and he requested presents of a sexual nature since I can’t buy him anything. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it. When I try to push him off he gets really offended and continues to try within five minutes of me pushing him away. It’s a cycle until I finally give up and let him have his way. The only way I can get him to sleep and leave me alone. Then I spend the rest of my night staring at the ceiling, disgusted with myself.


  1. Rape is sex without consent. If you say no, and he continues to have sex, that is rape. It doesn’t matter if you are married, dating, or just hooking up. Rape is rape.
    I can’t imagine how hard all of this is for you. I hope you can tell him ‘No’ on the 29th. The sex in any shape or form should stop. If he truly loves you like he says he does, then he will respect your body. I will be praying for you over the next few days/weeks while you try to get out of this.

    Liked by 1 person

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