I am SO glad I will never have to do this much laundry at once ever again. I filled out about 5 job applications today in between laundry loads. After that, I got annoyed with the repetitive questions about my employment history after submitting my resume already.
I’m trying to give J some space to let him process his feelings but it’s so hard. He loves Star Wars and my brother’s room (well, my room now that I’ve moved in) is covered in Star Wars memorabilia. It’s like God is trying to torture me. I keep looking at my phone, hoping that the vibration is due to a message from him, and get discouraged when I see it’s a message from P who spends his days telling me how sorry he is and how much he misses us.
It’s funny how much someone realizes they ruined shit after it’s too late. I have no desire to ever be with him again. He keeps begging me to tell him that I hope things will work out and I just can’t. I invested three years into trying to make things work; I won’t spend any more energy on it.
I wish I had a job already so I can just clear my mind already. I did, however, find a printable for a Daily Habit Tracker and filled that out. I’ve already done most of the things today also, so that makes me feel accomplished just a little.