Yesterday

really tested my patience. My uncle and I took the drive to the social security office with more than enough necessary documentation (according to their website) to receive replacement social security cards for myself and the girls.

We arrived early, around 10 in the morning. It was already full! I was already annoyed. I hate crowds. They make me uncomfortable. And out of 21 service windows in this office, only 4 were open. So here we are, in this cramped ass government building, waiting for my number to be called. After 90 minutes, my number was finally called. I went up to the window with a file folder containing shot records for both girls, dental records from their appointment the day before, birth certificates for all 3 of us, and not only my renewed license but my expired one as well (just in case, also a little because I was feeling petty about the whole thing). I had this woman the shot records and dental records for the girls, along with my license and say all three of us are in need of replacement cards. She handed the shot records back to me and said that they were unacceptable because they weren’t certified copies from the doctor. She then handed the dental records back because they didn’t have the girls’ birth dates on them.

My uncle, who is always about the paperwork and holding people accountable for things, pulled up the website for the social security office and showed her how it doesn’t say anything about needing certified shot records. “I’m not responsible for what the website says,” she replied. It wasn’t until my uncle started getting more aggravated that she pulled out an orange sheet of paper and circled the address to the health center that is right around the fucking corner to get certified, acceptable shot records for the girls. This bitch was going to let us leave without telling us that we could take care of this without going all the way back to their doctor.

So, we go to the health center and are in and out in less than five minutes with the certified shot records…or, the same fucking pieces of paper I just had but now with a stamp from the state office on them. We turned around and went back to the social security office and got to get a new number and wait another 45 minutes to get called. I handed the worker the certified shot records and asked for replacement cards. He then asked for my ID, which I gave. And then he requested their birth certificates. I almost blurted out “You’re fucking kidding me, right?” but instead I just laughed as I pulled out the “unacceptable form of identification for minors,” and my uncle said something about it when he saw me pull them out. “Oh so now you need the birth certificates even though the last time we were here, you told us you don’t take them for minors?”

“Well, there’s a reason I’m asking for them sir. The last names of the children are not the same as her last name. I need to confirm she is, in fact, their mother.”

I rolled my eyes, like I would go through so much fucking trouble to obtain social security cards for kids that weren’t even mine. Who would do that when you can spend much less time paying for fake identification?

Anyway, we got it done. All cards have been replaced and should be here within the next week or so. And I hope I never set foot in that building again.